If you've never ridden a motorcycle before, you'd better be extra careful and start slowly...
08 September 2007
My brand new bike
sent by Juliano
If you've never ridden a motorcycle before, you'd better be extra careful and start slowly...
If you've never ridden a motorcycle before, you'd better be extra careful and start slowly...
22 August 2007
What really moves the arrow!
sent by Cris
Have you ever stopped to think what really makes the arrow move on your monitor when you move the mouse? Well, the Japanese invented a magnifying glass that allows you to see how it all works. Click on this link and, when the page loads, move your mouse, then stop. :-)
Have you ever stopped to think what really makes the arrow move on your monitor when you move the mouse? Well, the Japanese invented a magnifying glass that allows you to see how it all works. Click on this link and, when the page loads, move your mouse, then stop. :-)
21 August 2007
12 August 2007
25 signs you are a grown-up
sent by Cris
1. Your potted plants stay alive.
2. Fooling around in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favourite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
22. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi & Ho-Ho's.
23. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
24. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
25. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
1. Your potted plants stay alive.
2. Fooling around in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favourite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
22. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi & Ho-Ho's.
23. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
24. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
25. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
03 August 2007
27 July 2007
If restaurants worked like Microsoft...
sent by Ana
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the for, the fly is stil there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm... that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that got to do with the fly in my soup?
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day, each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what's the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.
[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[Waiter leaves]
Patron: Waiter! There's a bug in my soup!
See a funny video about helpdesk in the Middle Ages!
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the for, the fly is stil there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm... that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that got to do with the fly in my soup?
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day, each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what's the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.
[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[Waiter leaves]
Patron: Waiter! There's a bug in my soup!
See a funny video about helpdesk in the Middle Ages!
24 July 2007
20 July 2007
A Glossary for Research Reports
Do you need to write or read research reports in English? Here is what they say… and what they really mean!!!
“It has been known that…” - I haven’t bothered to look up the original reference
“… of great theoretical and practical importance” - interesting to me
“While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions…” - the experiments didn’t work out, but I figured I could at least get a publication out of it.
“A fiducial reference line” - a scratch
“… accidentally strained during mounting.” - dropped on the floor
“… handled with extreme care throughout the experiments.” - not dropped on the floor
“Typical results are shown…” - the best results are shown
“Presumably at longer times” - I didn’t take the time to find out
“The agreement with the predicted curve is excellent.” - fair
“Good” - poor
“Satisfactory” - doubtful
“Fair” - imaginary
“… as good as could be expected.” - non-existent
“These results will be reported at a later date.” - I might possibly get round to doing this sometime
“The most reliable values are those of Jones.” - He was my student
“It is suggested / It is believed that…” - I think
“It is generally believed that…” - A couple of other guys think so too
“It is clear that much additional work will be required.” - I don’t understand it before a complete understanding.
“Unfortunately, a quantitative theory to account for these effects has not been formulated.” - Neither does anybody else
“Correct within an order of magnitude.” - wrong
“It is hoped that this work will stimulate further work in the field.” - This paper isn’t very good, but neither are any of the others in this miserable subject
“Thanks are due to Joe Glotz for assistance with experiments and to John Doe for valuable discussions.” - Glotz did the work and Doe explained what it meant
from the book “Random Walks in Science”
“It has been known that…” - I haven’t bothered to look up the original reference
“… of great theoretical and practical importance” - interesting to me
“While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions…” - the experiments didn’t work out, but I figured I could at least get a publication out of it.
“A fiducial reference line” - a scratch
“… accidentally strained during mounting.” - dropped on the floor
“… handled with extreme care throughout the experiments.” - not dropped on the floor
“Typical results are shown…” - the best results are shown
“Presumably at longer times” - I didn’t take the time to find out
“The agreement with the predicted curve is excellent.” - fair
“Good” - poor
“Satisfactory” - doubtful
“Fair” - imaginary
“… as good as could be expected.” - non-existent
“These results will be reported at a later date.” - I might possibly get round to doing this sometime
“The most reliable values are those of Jones.” - He was my student
“It is suggested / It is believed that…” - I think
“It is generally believed that…” - A couple of other guys think so too
“It is clear that much additional work will be required.” - I don’t understand it before a complete understanding.
“Unfortunately, a quantitative theory to account for these effects has not been formulated.” - Neither does anybody else
“Correct within an order of magnitude.” - wrong
“It is hoped that this work will stimulate further work in the field.” - This paper isn’t very good, but neither are any of the others in this miserable subject
“Thanks are due to Joe Glotz for assistance with experiments and to John Doe for valuable discussions.” - Glotz did the work and Doe explained what it meant
from the book “Random Walks in Science”
17 July 2007
George W. Bush...
sent by Luiz F.
I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." (Bush in Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004)
I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." (Bush in Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004)
16 July 2007
Is that what you heard?
Here's another funny Maxell TV commercial, using the song "Into the Valley"... It's sometimes hard to understand what people sing!!! :-)
And here is what he said...
Into the valley
Betrothed and divine
Realisations no virtue
But who can define
Why soldiers go marching
Those masses a line
This disease is catching
From victory to stone
Ahoy! Ahoy! Land, sea and sky
Ahoy! Ahoy! Boy, man and soldier
Ahoy! Ahoy! Deceived and then punctured
Ahoy! Ahoy! Long may they die
And here is what he said...
Into the valley
Betrothed and divine
Realisations no virtue
But who can define
Why soldiers go marching
Those masses a line
This disease is catching
From victory to stone
Ahoy! Ahoy! Land, sea and sky
Ahoy! Ahoy! Boy, man and soldier
Ahoy! Ahoy! Deceived and then punctured
Ahoy! Ahoy! Long may they die
15 July 2007
English-Portuguese translation?
sent by DaisyThis is not exactly a new joke, but in times of Pan American Games, it's worth reading again! You must know Portuguese for this... This is a direct (and very innacurate!) English translation of the names of some places in Rio!
PAN 2007 - Rio de Janeiro
German Mountain - Morro do Alemão
Big Field - Campo Grande
Will Go now - Irajá
O walk there - Andaraí
Dry Square - Praça Seca
Set fire - Botafogo
Customers - Freguesia
Very very Holy - Santíssimo
Patience - Paciência
Setting free - Livramento
Good Success - Bonsucesso
Very deep island - Ilha do Fundão
Grandson Rabbit - Coelho Neto
Hard Cover - Cascadura
Priest Michael - Padre Miguel
Mercy - Piedade!
t's very cheap! - Pechincha
Bless you - Saúde
Flag Square - Praça da Bandeira
Flagmen Funtime - Recreio dos Bandeirantes
Small Farm - Rocinha
Holy Cross - Santa Cruz
Hello, smile - Olaria
Mango Tree - Mangueira
Inside Mill - Engenho de Dentro
Alligator to the water! - Jacarepaguá
14 July 2007
You are what you read: American newspapers
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time --and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. None of these are read by the guy who is running the country into the ground.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time --and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. None of these are read by the guy who is running the country into the ground.
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